RECENT (TEMPORARY) AMENDMENTS TO THE DICTIONARY

18/08/2008

Bull Market:                        a market where an investor mistakes himself for a financial genius.
 
Bear Market:                       a 6 month period when the wife gets no jewellery.
 
P/E ratio:                            percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market crashes.
 
Broker:                               poorer than you were last year.
 
Standard and Poor (S&P):    your life in a nutshell.
 
Market Correction:               the day after you buy stocks.
 
Cash Flow:                         the movement your money makes as it disappears into a black hole.
 
Institutional Investor:            past year investor who is now locked up in a nut house.
 
EBITDA:                             earnings before I tricked the dumb auditor.
 
EBIT:                                  earnings before irregularities and tampering.
 
CEO:                                  chief embezzlement officer.
 
CFO:                                  chief fraud officer.