25/02/2009

Here are some delightful "howlers" taken from science exam papers of 11 year old science students.

-  “When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire”

-  “The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o and u”

-  “For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and down to make Artificial Perspiration”

-  “For fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put her head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor”

-  “For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it”

-  “For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead”

 
-  “To prevent contraception: wear a condominium”