Bull Market: a market where an investor mistakes himself for a financial genius.
Bear Market: a 6 month period when the wife gets no jewellery.
P/E ratio: percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market crashes.
Broker: poorer than you were last year.
Standard and Poor (S&P): your life in a nutshell.
Market Correction: the day after you buy stocks.
Cash Flow: the movement your money makes as it disappears into a black hole.
Institutional Investor: past year investor who is now locked up in a nut house.
EBITDA: earnings before I tricked the dumb auditor.
EBIT: earnings before irregularities and tampering.
CEO: chief embezzlement officer.
CFO: chief fraud officer.